Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Captain Mike Franey week 2 MVP.......Schulz disgruntled....Stiff Sticks beat Cycles!

A windy night welcomed the week 2 golfers of Men’s night at the Carroll Country Club.
Your Bud Light team faced off against Byron’s Boyz and were propelled to victory by your Captain Mike Franey’s 14 to 4 victory over Scott Monical. Bud Two Troy Auen was beaten by a scrappy Ralph Guerra 11 to 7. 2009 Bud Light golfer of the year Steve Sinnard beat Bob Giguere 12 to 6 and long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz beat Tony Feldmann. Overall a good night for your Bud Light team winning 43 to 29 and remaining in 4th place in the Zach Johnson division. The front runners of the division Pizza Ranch stretched their lead to 5 over Sharp Funeral Home. The thin crusts walloped Elin’s 9 Irons 50 to 22. Sharp Funeral Home clobbered Digger Dave Nelson’s Hawkeye Commodity Brokers 46 to 26. The 2008 and 2009 Papa Joe Classic Champion carded a 44 and was spanked by Kyle Atkinson 15 to 3. Atkinson was awarded low gross honors with a 2 under 35 in the wind storm. Templeton Rye beat Volquartsen Customs 45 to 27 and is in 3rd in the division. The Computer Guy Adam Schweers was low net with a 31 and the Sharp Funeral Home was low net team.

In a Tuesday night phone call to your Captain sports power agent Bob Kelly who represents 2008 Bud Light Golfer of Year Mike Schulz made outlandish demands for payment of services rendered in his representation of Schulz’ hold out stunt. In rebuttal of these demands your Bud Light team has retained the services of Jeffrey R. Minnich of the Carroll law firm Neu, Minnich Comito and Neu. As always the details of the retainer agreement with Minnich is confidential but inside sources cite the agreement to be for a 5 year period. Your publisher truly hopes that this matter can be handled in a smooth and quick fashion. Off course distractions need not cloud the three peat journey of your Bud Light team. Your Bud Light team asks for the public’s help in this matter and urges the public to encourage Schulz and his counsel to do what is best for the team.

Over in the other division the Soggy Subs were upset by Chico Kanne’s oil jobbers 37 to 35. Dirk Halverson was the MVP for the oil jobbers with a 12 to 6 victory over Tom Duff. Papa Joe Pick won his first match in five months over Todd Kanne 11 to 7 and Steve “Cuda” Quandt was beaten by Dick Muhlbauer 10 to 8. The subs are tied in 3rd with Linde Equipment. Carroll Glass remains on top but in a tie in the Phil Mickelson division with another good showing in week 2 with a 42 to 30 victory over Miller Lite. Andy Reiman led the way with a 13 to 5 beating of GPS Bob Pudenz. A big night for the buses of Windstar beating Kasperbauer Cleaners 50 to 22 and moving into the top spot with the glass cleaners. Jair Mayhall was the best bus driver for Windstar beating Mike Mosher 15 to 3.

Other news worthy items……………

· Happy birthday to Sean O’Leary who shot his age last night – 45
· Low gross honors to Subway Mike Gute in the Phil Mickelson division.
· Closest to the pin winner Papa Joe Pick was seen tossing his golf ball prize to Elin’s 9 irons front man Eric “The Judge” Neu.
· In a lapse of judgment your Captain pick up the ball of Bud Two Troy Auen which lied in the 18th fairway while playing the 9th hole resulting in a lost hole. The incident was well documented by the farmer and dog so this report would like to thank them for their assistance in the matter.
· Macke Motors continued their skid to the bottom of the Phil Mickelson division. Car wash Todd Pettitt received blunt force trauma to the head from Mike Loehr in a 15 to 3 beating.
· Ryan Milligan’s CSB team took it on the chin against Linde Equipment 41 to 31.
· Bud One’s La-z-boys lost to the par last night and it still is in question if anyone will beat the par this year.
· The Sharp Funeral Home has completed the necessary paper work to become a birdie sponsor of the Bud Light report.

Carroll Cycle Center was trounced by Frank Comito's Stiff Sticks 41 to 31 to go 0-2 on the year. It is the first 0-2 start in franchise history.

Herky the Hawk and your Captain would like to invite all Hawkeye fans to the 2010 Carroll Area I Club Spring Outing next Thursday, May 13 at the Arcadia Legion Hall. Head men's football coach Kirk Ferentz will be on hand. Tickets can be purchased from your Captain.

As always this buds for you and ON IOWA!

Fairways and greens to all
2008 and 2009 Championship Captain
Mike Franey


Anonymous said...

I see my agent has you shaking in your spikes. I don't know why you don't just cave to my demands and pay up. You know I am represented by the best cousel in town.

Anonymous said...

I lost 4 to 14. Give me one more point!

Rob Cordes said...

Nice to see the attorneys for both sides in contract discussions are a couple of falling down drunks!