Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bud Light in the lead………MVP Hans Auen wins big….Cycles throttled….Cycles Captain TR out of the hospital!

On a windy night your Bud Light team vaulted to the top of the Zach Johnson division on the shoulders of Steve “Hans”Auen! Auen took care of Scott Greteman 7 to 2 to pace your Bud Light team and is leading the race for the Bud Light MVP averaging 11.67 points every time that he steps on the course. 2008 Bud Light MVP Mike Schulz beat his boss John Feld 11 to 7. For his efforts Schulz gets two days off without pay! Previous MVP front runner Steve Sinnard was stopped by Tony Pietig and Captain Mike Franey was beaten by John Horbach! Sinnard and Franey are officially benched for next week’s action. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz was seen exercising by golfers on their way to the course. Sponsor Troy Auen subbed for Sharp Funeral Home and tied his match. Auen will be back in the line up next week for Your Bud Light team as he will be looking for his first win of the season. Your Bud Light team is in first place in the Zach Johnson division three points ahead of the hottest team in the league Commercial Savings Bank. Your Bud Light team was low net team last night as well. Papa Joe Pick was seen following around members of the Bud Light golf team in hopes of scoring another Pro V 1 golf ball.
Last night was not a good night for the Carroll Cycle Center as they were killed by Tomato John Gradoville and the Carroll County State Bank team 44 to 28. The Cycles lost their lead and are now in 4th place eleven points behind the defending champions. Tomato John shut out D.A. Tony Bluml 4 holes to 0. M.C. Café’s heading cooking professional Mark Tigges was the leading point getter for the Cycles with a tie! Only minutes after the match the cycles were seen speeding off on their Harleys and were not available for comment.
The $5 foot longs took it on the chin again last night and extended the club’s longest losing streak as they lost to the Macke Motors team. In his teams debut Flying Bob Raue cooled the jets of Captain Papa Joe Pick. Tom “Duffer” Duff was beaten by his boss and new subscriber Joel Flug and Captain Randy Bierl beat the Junk Yard Dog. The Motors won their match last night but lost their lead to Frank Comito’s Stiff Sticks. The Stiff Sticks pummeled Hawkeye Commodity Brokers like a bad investment 52 to 20 in one of most lop sided matches of the year. Comito holed out from the green side bunker on 10 to dash all the hopes of Sean O’Leary. Dave Nelson took home longest putt honors on 18 for the brokers. Unreliable sources say the putt was for double bogey.

Other news worthy items………….

· Wade Pettitt shot 4 under 30 on the back nine to take medalist honors in the Tiger Woods division.
· Carroll Country Club President Randy Hockom nailed longest putt on 9.
· Papa Joe’s oldest Aaron was closest to the pin on 8. Good to see someone in the Pick family realizing success on the links.
· Clothier Wade Wilke redeems himself from last week’s 53 shooting a 43.
· Broadband Bandits scored their first win of the year beating Byron’s Boyz. Colin Bierl was the leader of the team. Todd Bierl hit into Your Bud Light team twice on the same hole.
· While writing the report your publisher received an email from the Cycles Captain Terry Ruchti saying he was going home. Good luck in your recovery at home TR!
· Thanks to Mac’s Café for another fine cup of coffee this morning to propel your publisher through the report.

Welllll that is a wrap and in closing I feel it is appropriate to steal the words of Carroll Cycle Center’s Captain Terry Ruchti. Have a great week and remember “It’s your time………..enjoy the ride!”

Fairways and greens to all!
Captain Franey

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Week 4 line up

Good morning Bud Light Subscribers!

Week 4 begins with your Bud Light team just one point behind the Carroll Cycle Center. The cycles will be without their fearless leader Terry Ruchti who is recovering from a recent hip surgery.
Your Bud Light team will be starting their quest on hole #7 taking on the fireman from Feld Fire Equipment who are in 4th place just 3 points behind your defending champs. Captain Mike Franey will lead the team tonight along with Steve "Hans" Auen, 2009 MVP front runner Steve Sinnard and 2008 MVP Mike Schulz. Schulz should be benched tonight for beating your Captain on Sunday but your Captain is not about personal satisfaction or holding a grudge and is all about winning championships. Bud Light team sponsor Troy Auen and Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz will not be in the line up tonight for Your Bud Light team. For a substantial playing fee they are available to sub!
The Cycles tee off hole #2 against Carroll County State Bank. The $5 subs will be attempting to stop their plunge to the bottom of the Tiger Woods division but standing in their way is the 1st place Macke Motors team. In an early morning conference with Car Wash Todd Pettitt it is apparent that in fighting exists as Flying Bob Raue is making his case to get into the line up as his team and General Motors talk about a trade. This publisher will keep you informed about this developing story.

In the news...........

Congratulations to the Kuemper and Carroll High girls golf teams for advancing on yesterday. Twenty time city champion Mike "Jewels" Eckerman's daughter Kenidy shot 98 and Car Wash Todd Pettitt's Kristin shot a 97 and Jill shot a 104.

Congratulations to Zach Johnson for winning the Chico Kanne Valero Texas Open on Sunday.

Carroll clothier Wade Wilke will try to improve on his 53 from last week. He has been seen working on this game this week.

This report would like to wish Carroll Country Club general manager and head golf professional Nate Pettitt best of luck as he leaves the club this fall to attend grad school. Thanks for all your hard work Nate!

Wellllllllll that is a wrap for this morning. Good to all tonight on the East side of Carroll!

Fairways and greens to all!
2008 Championship Captain
Mike Franey

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Captain Franey MVP with big win.........the lead is one........2008 MVP Schulz on fire!

Good Morning Bud Light Report subscribers:

First a big shout out to Mac's Corner Cafe for delivering a hot cup of coffee to your publisher at my office prior to press time this morning. Now that's why we live in Carroll Iowa!
Mother Nature could not even spoil the highly decorated Carroll County Club Supper league debut of your Championship Bud Light Captain. The opponent last night for your captain was none other than Carroll Cycle Center's MVP front runner Grandpa Joe Hinners who was subbing for Byron'z Boys. Hinners was other wise occupied with the birth of 9 lbs 14 oz 22" long grandson as his play was not up to par in a 7 to 2 loss to your Captain. A fourteen point winner positions your Captain to contend for the season long MVP award. MVP front runner Steve Sinnard continued his winning ways last night taking care of Brian Widdell 10 to 8. Sinnard is leading the team scoring average with 11.33 points a round slightly ahead of 2008 MVP Mike Schulz with 9.5. Schulz’s rights last night were sold to Hawkeye Commodities where he shot a 2 over 39 with a triple bogey on the second hole. Schulz will be back in the line up next week for your Bud Light team. Schulz’s talent comes from father Norm Schulz who yesterday in Senior League holed out from 130 yards on the first hole for birdie. Bud Two and team Sponsor Troy Auen sputtered with his provisional start last night and settled for a 9 to 9 tie with new subscriber Leon Muhlbauer. Auen did not miss a fairway all night but had a fear of hitting the green on his second shot. What is next for the team sponsor? As this publisher sees it he should start praying for summer vacations so a spot on the team will open up. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz played extremely well with a one under par 33 and captured low gross honors. Mertz tied Tony Feldmann 9 to 9. Mertz was lobbying hard in the clubhouse with your Captain for a spot on next week's squad because of his solid play despite the tie. In a true act of sportsmanship Mertz was seen tossing his low gross Titleist Pro V1 golf ball to Subway's Papa Joe Pick in a tear jerking scene that made one reminisce about the Coca Cola commercial with Mean Joe Green in the tunnel tossing his jersey back to an eager young fan.
After week one the lead was 14 for the Carroll Cycle Center, then it was cut in half after week 2 and now it is down to only one! The Cycles tied Larry’s Automotive last night with Jay Drees leading the way scoring 16 points although he was playing unopposed. DA Tony Bluml, Dr. J.B. Greenwell, and M.C.’s Country Café’s head cooking professional Mark Tigges all took it on the chin last night. One has to think about how the Cycles are going to react without the services of Captain Terry Ruchti who will have hip surgery this Thursday.

In the news…………

• Macke Motors are flourishing in the absence of Flying Bob Raue who is still on an extended training camp. Reports have Flying Bob currently in Florida. Macke Motors is currently in first in the Tiger Woods division. This report prides itself on fair and balanced reporting so it is my obligation to point out that the Motors scored 47 points last night due to the fact that Subway’s Mike Gute’s team only had two players.
• The moldy Subs last night were led by Tom “Duffer” Duff who had nine pars to score 12 points for the team over Stiff Sticks captain Frank Comito. The Subs off season acquisition Pat “Spanky” Vollstedt scored 7 points last night in a losing effort. Papa Joe Pick was beaten by Mike Nelson 10 to 8 and Steve “Cuda” Quandt won 12 points and collected closest to the pin on #8. Subway is tied for 8th place 15 points out of the lead. Subway was low net team in the Tiger Woods division.
• After getting pummeled the first night of league the CSB team has climbed on the back of Jay Westerkamp to post consecutive wins and position them 2 points behind your Bud Light Team.
• Miller Lite took care of the Broadband Bandits in fine fashion 49 to 23. Todd Bierl shot a 52 on the back with a 10 on both holes 13 and 14. Look for good things from Bierl in the future.
• A big welcome to new subscribers E.T. Video’s Dierk Halverson, Community Oil’s Chico Kanne, and Byron’z Boys’ Leon Muhlbauer.

That is a wrap! This Mac’s coffee is so good that I am getting a little windy this morning. Have a great week!

Fairways and greens to all!
Championship Captain Mike Franey

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Week 3......Captain Franey in the line up......What about Papa Joe?

Good Tuesday morning to all!
Your publisher just returned from a high level photo shoot on the tarmac in front of the pro shop at the Carroll County Club with Carroll Cycle Center's captain Terry Ruchti. Look for that photo in an upcoming edition of the Carroll Times Herald.
Week 3 starts with your Bud Light team lurking just seven points behind the Cycles who are dripping oil like an engine without an oil plug. Captain Mike Franey will make his highly decorated debut in Supper league tonight teeing off the 11th hole against Byron's Boyz. In a privilege reserved for sponsors similar to NASCAR, Bud Two Troy Auen is using his sponsor exemption claiming a spot in the rotation tonight. Auen is fearful that his play is not up to the high standards needed to make the team so he is hoping to avoid another benching with stellar play tonight in his provisional start. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz and MVP font runner Steve Sinnard round out the roster tonight. Steve "Hans" Auen is out of town attending a work related meeting and has requested the night off. This will in no way effect Auen's position in the MVP status.

Your captain has sold the rights to 2008 Bud Light MVP Mike Schulz for tonight to Hawkeye Community Brokers. The details of the deal are not being disclosed but rumors say it is in the six figures.

The Cycles will be playing right behind Your Bud Light team and are squaring off against Larry's Automotive. Captain TR will be in the line up for the Cycles. In the junior division the moldy subs go head to head with Captain Frank Comito's Stiff Sticks. Good news for the Subs........not far to fall as they are only two spots above the cellar. The anticipation is killing this publisher to see if Captain Papa Joe Pick will bless Supper league with his presence tonight.

A big shout out to subscriber Kim Hackett's son Colin who fired a 76 yesterday in Red Oak to capture Hawkeye 10 Conference Medalist honors. His mother is an accomplished player as a past Carroll Country Club Champion.

A big report welcome to new subscribers Carroll Community Schools Superintendent Rob Cordes and Carroll Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Jim Gossett.

Have a great Tuesday!

Fairway and greens to all!
Bud Light Championship Captain Franey

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Moving on up!

Week 2 in Review……Sinnard MVP……Papa Joe benched again!

It was a windy May night on the fairways and greens of the Carroll Country Club. Your Bud Light team entered the night in 4th place 14 points behind their rivals from the Carroll Cycle Center. When the dust settled the lead was sliced in half and Your Bud Light team moved up a slot to third only 7 points behind the Cycles.
Your Bud Light team was lead by MVP front runner Steve Sinnard who shot a 38 to collect low gross honors along with 12 points. Steve “Hans” Auen played well beating Anti Virus Adam Schweers. Hans scored 12 points in his victory. 2008 Bud Light MVP Mike Schulz cleared Nick Fangman and scored 10 points for the team. The long anticipated return of team sponsor Troy Auen was spoiled by banker Don Neary as the two dueled to a tie. More honors for YOUR Bud Light team as the team was awarded low net team for the night in the Zach Johnson division. Steve Sinnard remains the MVP leader with just 15 weeks remaining averaging 12 points each time he tees off. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz will return to action next week after a successful burrito counting trip last night.
For the Cycles part Joe Hinners was quite verbal about the fact that he had to play Carroll Cycle Center owner and his boss Bob Brown who was subbing for the La-z-boys. Hinners seemed to be off his game and flustered all night long. Brown and Hinners settled for a tie. Hinners is still leading the Cycle’s MVP race averaging 13.5 points each week. Week two MVP honors go to MC’s Country Café’s head cooking professional Mark Tigges.
In the featured match of the evening the FAA issued a warning for the air space above the Carroll Country Club due to the bright color of the shirts worn by the Broadband Bandits. The Bandits were jumped, beaten and thrown into the burn pile by Commercial Savings Bank 47 – 25. Eric Muhlbauer led CSB with a low gross honor of 38. The Bandits are in need of their leader Scott “Cable Guy” Kanne to come back from Omaha and score some points for the team.
Over in the junior division this reporter found the soggy subs sputtering along like my 1987 Chevy Silverado Pickup when it is first started. For their efforts the subs fell to 10th place 18 points behind their sponsor Subway Mike Gute’s Kerps squad. Tom “Duffer” Duff scored 10 points of the subs 29 and was the only winner on the team. Steve “Cuda” Quandt was beaten by Bob Linde. Linde was awarded low net honors for Week 2. New subscriber Lonny Lehrkamp was beaten by 20 time City champion Mike Jewels Eckerman. It seems like this is a classic case of the lawn and landscape boys pulling out the Roundup and spraying down the weeds. It is puzzling to this reporter that Papa Joe Pick was reported to be farming last evening but was found to be dining and carrying on in the clubhouse. I will admit that I do not know too much about farming but this seems to be a new kind of farming practice. The luxury no till approach!

Other news worthy items……………
• The report would like to send best wishes to Captain Terry Ruchti as he is having hip surgery. Best of luck and a fast recovery TR!
• Congratulations to Kenidy Eckerman of the Kuemper Girls Golf team as she is rated 4th in the state in class 2A. I am confident that she dresses better than her father!
• Reports from the Macke Motors team are that Flying Bob Raue will have a hard time breaking into the line up when he does decide to play again. Trade talks and rumors about placing him on waivers are in the air. Uncle Bruce Pettitt led the team with a 36 on the back nine followed by Captain Carpet Randy Bierl.
• Carroll Country Club General Manager and head golf professional Nate Pettitt received low gross honors with a one under 33. Local funeral director Kyle Atkinson was even par on the back.
• Tiger Tom Simons scored his second in a row low net honor in the Zach Johnson division.
• Hawkeye Commodity Brokers’ Sean O’Leary tied for low net in the Tiger Woods division. Team member Dave Nelson was seen using a Cuda ball that he bought from his neighbor kid who found several at the Muny. You know you have too much money when you hit your balls and do not even pick them up.

The report would like to welcome new subscribers Lonny Lehrkamp, Louie Prenger, Rick Kasperbauer, Pete Collison, Papa Joe’s eldest Aaron Pick, Ron “Bubba” Badding and Pat “Spanky” Vollstedt.

That is a wrap for Week 2! In the famous words of our sponsor “This Bud’s for you”. The Bud Light team is closing in on another Supper league championship. Thanks to all who provided feedback yesterday.

Fairways and greens to all!
Captain Franey

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Week 2 lineup

First week MVP front runner Steve Sinnard will lead the charge tonight for your defending champions. The long anticipated season debut of team sponsor Troy Auen will end tonight as he will lace up his Footjoys and return to action. Sinnard and Auen will be joined by 2008 MVP Mike Schulz and Steve "Hans" Auen. Your Bud Light team will play Carroll County State Bank starting on holes 3 and 4. CCSB are in 8th place. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz and Captain Mike Franey will ride the bench tonight. Mertz will be traveling to Des Moines to count burritos and Captain Mike Franey will be making dreams come true.

The Carroll Cycle Center plays Bud One Jim Auen's La-z-boys and will start from holes 5 and 6. Look for another strong performance from the Cycle's MVP candidate Joe Hinners.

The soggy subs clash with Juergens Lawn and Landscape. Juergens bought the rights on the off season to 20 time city champion Mike "Jewels" Eckerman.

The featured match of the evening will be between the Broadband Bandits and Commercial Savings Bank. On course reporters will be following this match.

Fairways and greens to all
Captain Mike Franey

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sinnard the MVP....Papa Joe Pick a no show!

Thanks for your patience in waiting for the Bud Light report for week 1. A free one month’s subscription to all of you who are not on probation.
Week one closed with your Bud Light team in 4th place and 14 points behind the Carroll Cycle Center team. Your Bud Light Team was led by Steve Sinnard with 12 points and Steve “Hans” Auen, 2008 MVP Mike Schulz and Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz all tied their matches and scored 9 points. Sinnard leads the MVP race after week one. The line up will be determined on Tuesday morning. The anticipated debut of Team sponsor Bud Two Troy Auen is expected to happen tomorrow night. Happy Anniversary wishes go out to Troy and Lisa Auen and Craig and Sheri Mertz for celebrating recent anniversaries.

The cycles killed Community Oil Company 53-19 in the largest point total of the night. Leading point getter for the Cycles was Joe Hinners who scored 18 points. Captain Terry Ruchti shot a 39 and collected 12 points, D.A. Tony Bluml shot a 39 and collected 10 points and Dr. J.B. Greenwell scored 13 points to round out the team total.
The publisher has received several calls from members of the Subway team crying about the Subs not being in the same division as the defending champions. Wellllllllll....the way I see it is the Tiger's Woods division allowed for the Subs to be low gross team last week but they only scored 38 points. If you were in the same division as the defending champions you would not get any honors. What does this say about the handicap situation of the team. According to records obtained by this reporter Tom "Duffer" Duff shot 37 and did not even get credited with low gross. See what happens when you cry!

Who was on their game.............

Bud One Jim Auen shot a 36 for low gross honors in the Zach Johnson division! He also collected a flag prize on 18.

Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz who also shot 36 for low gross honors. You sure do know how to golf your golfing ball Mr. Mertz!

Joe Hinners who led the Cycles with 18 points which represented 33.9% of the scoring. Maybe next week someone will help you.

Mike Gute's Kerps team for scoring 46 points and being at the top of the Tiger Woods division.

John Beiter who was low gross and low net with a 38 and closest to the pin on 8.

Steve Sinnard for being in the lead of for the Bud Light MVP with only 16 weeks remaining.

Who was Not...........

The entire Subway team for all of the first night whinning, crying and pouting. Maybe the Farmer and the Dog should quit carrying on and start worrying about losing money on the weekends.

Subway's off season acquisition Pat "Spanky" Vollstedt for a nice round of 45 in his Subway debut.

The subscription of Laurens Iowa's best pizza maker Todd Kanne is on probation until further notice for allowing the Cycles to score 53 points.

New subscriber Dirk Glynn starts out on probation for tying 2008 Bud Light MVP Mike Schulz. Schulz was up several holes and let Glynn back in the match. Where is the respect Mr. Glynn?

That is all that I got for this first edition. I will be back in the morning with the Week 2 line up.

Fairways and greens to all !
Captain Franey