Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Happy 50th Birthday Keeley........Supper league dodges severe weather.......Junkyard Dog up for adoption and Happy Mother's Day!

Supper league finished just in time last night! 

Your Bud Light team was rolled up like an old piece of carpet and thrown in the dumpster behind Bierl Carpet One! The carpets were led by Brad Hempstead’s one over 35. An asterisk exists with Hempstead’s match with Bud Two Troy Auen stemming from an incident in the trees in between 12 green and 11 tee. The ruling between the players on the course resulted in a victory for the carpets. An after the round pro shop rules meeting determined that it was a violation(Building a stance) which should have resulted in loss of hole. Just another example of good sportsmanship by your Bud Light Team. We might not win every week but we sure are nice guys.  
In the dumpster! 

Jon Sturm and Brad Pick clobbered Bud Three Steve “Hans” Auen and Mike Schulz. Auen was benched from last week but was called into duty to fill out the squad. Schulz on the other hand wins for the team every other week he plays. This publisher says you should play one more time each week and become an every week winner. The only winner for beers was Captain Mike Franey who outlasted the hot putter of Eagle Eye Colin Bierl. The carpets are tied for third.

Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz sat out of action to catch up on laundry! 2016 Papa Joe Classic Co-champion Steve Sinnard was in the basement of Rancho Grande hiding from the stormy weather and celebrating his wife’s Keeley’s 50th Birthday!

With the 6 to 2 loss the Bud Light teams falls to 5th tied with Eckerman Jewelry. The jewelry team features the PXG princesses…..Mike Jewels Eckerman and Casket Kyle Atkinson. Both PXG players shot 36 and lost to Jake Kimmes and Chris Van Dyke. Old balls Chad Kanne beat Ian Kimmes and Steve Kimmes and Peterman Tony Pietig battled to a tie. The 6 to 3 win for the gas stations leaves them still on top of the supper league 4.5 clear of Stiff Sticks.

Supper’s league most mature team Stiff Sticks tied with OH BOBBY! Chris Giguere and Brian Widdell beat Floridian Randy Hockom and Trusty Mike Nelson. Waspy’s Truck Stop head parking lot attendant Larry “Doc” Sporrer and Fairway Frank Comito beat new member Mike Soe and Rich Hartley.

Mid Iowa Team was flying high and stomped Champion Ford #2 8 to 2. Hy-Vee Store Director Brad Auge, the playing pride of Manning Iowa Aaron Ahrendsen and Produce Tom Duff all were victorious! The only loss for the Mid Iowa Team was the sick dog
Junkyard Dog needs adopted! 
Steve “Cuda” Quandt. Quandt is emotionally distraught after a Monday night back injury sidelined his farmer Papa Joe Pick. Ahrendsen and Auge scored two special event points with low gross and low net honors.

Landus Coop spilled the oil of Community Oil. Jay Drees and Jamming Joe Hinners beat head oil jobber Chico Kanne and Todd Kanne. Jerry Janson the only winner for the oil company. Inside reports indicate that a name change for next year from Community Oil to Fro Yo is coming. Free samples for all!

Graddy’s Tomatoes and Shamrock Boat Sales battled to a tie. Dr. Svensson won the boats and Digger Dave Nelson won for the tomatoes.

Highway 30 Car Wash doubled up Kasperbauer Cleaners 6 to 3. Assistant green keeper Kyle Peterson and John “Gretsky” Greteman were both winners for the car washes. Drain cleaner Wyatt Haukap beat former Carroll Country Club turned farmer Nick Schon. Spot Free Todd Pettitt was low gross with an even par round for the father of 12.

Champion Ford #1 beat JEO Consulting 6 to 4. Team owner Darin Putney and Monument Man Loren Boyce beat Highway 30 Coalition President Adam Schweers
Well Adam you see I am going to China! 
and Shawn Quam. JEO’s only winner was low net winner Cody Forch.
Proudly supporting their pink shirts Carroll Glass wrestled 2 points out of par. They sure looked stylish. Keith Pottebaum the only winner for the pinkies.

Special Events Winners:

Low gross – Car Wash Todd Pettitt and Aaron Ahrendsen
Low net – Cory Forch and Brad Auge
Closest to the pin – Monument Loren Boyce and Chris Van Dyke

Long Putt – John Gretsky and Jay Drees. The flag markers for this award were not pick up prior to last night’s storm. They were returned by the Greene County Sheriff’s Department….Good ole Greene County. 

Just saying..............

-Mouthpiece 1 and 2 Mike Franey and Tom Duff beat Junkyard Dog Cuda Quandt and Papa Joe Pick on Monday night. A lower back issue forced Pick to retire on hole 15th which did not seem to bother his partner as they were badly leaking oil. Once playing by himself Quandt managed to save some money. A time frame for Pick's return is questionable pending physical and psychiatric evaluation. 
Show me the money! 

-This publisher was medalist last night in the match with Steve "Cuda' Quandt and Produce Tom Duff. Easy to make money in America! 

Tell the world Keeley that you are now 50! 
Don't you tell them my age! 
Celebrity birthdays on Tuesday - Keeley Sinnard turned 50, Papa Joe Pick and Terry Axman. Peter Nelson today! 
Happy Mother's Day Mom! Thanks for Everything! 
First blog appearance for Wilton David Thomsen - the pride and joy of Grandpa Dave and Grandma Gina 
Join Scott and Curt on Thursday night at Pro Power

Respectfully Submitted, 

Mike Franey 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Happy Mother's Day.....Somer Sinnard conference medalist.......Jewels and Casket observe PXG holiday........Bud Three benched!

Steve and Keeley Sinnard's daughter Somer Sinnard beat the field on Monday in Adel at the conference golf tournament. 
Way to go Somer and all of the Carroll High Girls Golf Team!

It was a  glorious night for golf on the fairways and greens of the Carroll Country Club for the third week of Men's Supper League! 

Your Bud Light Team took care of Landus Coop(formerly known as The Carroll Cycle Center) 7 to 3. Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz led the charge for Supper league’s most popular team with a three under 34 on the front nine. The low round produce a mid-round submission by text from multiple time city and club champion Corey Bluml. Bluml texted this publisher at 7:16 pm and I do quote “I will for now on always respect my elders after this beat down Mertz gave me.” Bud light team captain Mike Franey outlasted the head hog Terry Ruchti.  
Little Hans Auen alone on the bench! 
Bud Three Steve “Hans” Auen starting leaking oil after a big lead and settled for a tie with LP tank Tom Drees. Bud Three is benched next week unless of course we need him to fill the roster out . Mike Schulz and Jamming Joe Hinners battled to a tie as well. Somer's dad Steve was on a fishing trip and Bud Two Troy Auen was under the weather with a cold and chest congestion. Bud Light is tied for second with Supper league’s most mature team Stiff Sticks.

Stiff Sticks rode an one over par round from Floridian Randy Hockom who beat the head car washer Todd Pettitt, Fairway Frank Comito beat John Greteman, Magic Trusty Mike Nelson beat Assistant greens keeper Kyle Peterson and Larry “Doc” Sporrer tied Jim Nurse. It seemed like the car washes were rattled this week after being put on the clock as a result of their slow play from week two which resulted in a Wednesday morning finish. 

Bud Light and Stiff Sticks are 2.5 points back from the Kimmes Country Stores who submerged the boats of Shamrock Boat Sales 7.5 to 2.5. The boat sales played one man short and Produce Tom Duff subbed for them as well. Duff tied Bud One Jim Auen. Chris Van Dyke and Ian Kimmes beat Jamie North and Jon Renze. North was visibly distraught after his round in the clubhouse until a few cans of liquid eased the pain.  

Eckerman Jewelry and Community Oil tied despite playing two members short. Which two you might ask? Casket Kyle Atkinson and Jewels Mike Eckerman must have been observing a PXG golf company national holiday as they did not make the call to the first tee. Peterman Tony Pietig beat Todd Kanne and guns a blazing Nic Volquartson beat Jerry Janson.
Shoot them up Nic! 
Champion Ford #2 Carroll Glass beat Champion Ford #2 in a mixed up match that was corrected late in the evening. Not sure what else to say about this match.

Champion Ford #1 beat Mid Iowa Team riding on the wings of the wild one Wade Wilke who destroyed Papa Joe Pick. Junkyard Dog Cuda Quandt beat Digger Dave Nelson in Nelson Men's League return. Champion Ford's bossman Darin Putney beat Aaron Ahrendson and Hy-Vee Store Director of store #1051 Brad Auge beat Monument Man Loren Boyce. Boyce was also beaten on Sunday night by daughter Micaela. Glad you are back at the club for the summer Micaela.

Bierl Carpet One scored 6 points on par. Brad Hempstead was low for the carpets. Commercial Savings Bank rookie loan officer Kevin Milligan was the only loser for the carpets.

JEO Consulting beat OH BOBBY! John Munson and Dr. Quam were winners for the consulting firm. Rich Hartley was the only winner for OH BOBBY.

Kasperbauer Cleaners smashed some tomatoes of Graddy’s. Graddy’s are on a two week losing skid. Champion Cleaner Michael Kasperbauer and Ron Badding were winners for the cleaners. The last time the tomatoes were ripe was when Bud Light’s Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz played for them and that is not going to happen again!

Special Event winners

Low Gross – Long time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz and Randy Hockom

Low Net – Lauren’s(that girl can dance) Dad Pat Macke  and whistling Wade Wilkie. In case you missed it Wilkie crushed Papa Joe Pick

Closest to the pin – Numbers Bob Muhlbauer and Chris Van Dyke

Long putt – Jamie North and Terry Ruchti(I am not kidding you this was like 9 inches)

Just saying......

Junkyard Dog Cuda Quandt and Papa Joe Pick beat Mouthpiece One Mike Franey and Mouthpiece Two Tom Duff on Sunday. This match and as all of them that the farmer and the dog play in has no regard for handicaps UNLESS they think they should get strokes. I had to mention this because there is no fake news on this report. 

On Tuesday night Papa Joe Pick challenged this publisher to a $5 low score contest. The only problem with this little wager was that Pick lost and did not have any money to speak of. It was reminiscent of Lee Trevino playing for money when he did not have any money in his pocket BUT the only difference was that Trevino won! 
Next time bring some money Papa Joe! 
It is early in the season so this is a friendly reminder to repair your ball marks! 

Remember to sign up for the Member - Guest on June 2 and 3! Look at these gift packages and much more! 

Happy 40th Birthday Benet Snyder! (5/11/2017)

Respectfully submitted - ON IOWA and GO HAWKS! 

Mike Franey

If you see breaking news happen that should be in this report be sure to email or text this reporter! 

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Smashed Tomatoes….handicap corruption...Congrats Carly and Dave....Thanks Commercial Savings Bank...Hawkeyes in Arcadia tonight!

Congrats Carly and Dave! Thanks for reading the report! 

What a difference a week makes as Mother Nature blessed the fairways and greens of Carroll Country Club last night with sunshine and a light breeze.

America’s team Bud Light took it on the chin from the loose diamonds of Eckerman Jewelry. Mike “Jewels” Eckerman grinning ear to ear brought his 4 handicap to the 12th tee and beat the long-time subscriber, top local amateur, highly successful and more veteran golfer Craig Mertz. In the match, Mertz had to give Eckerman one shot! In the post-match press conference Mertz simply said “How do you give the little jeweler one shot and expect to win.” Eckerman beat Mertz scratch by three even though Mertz had to give him a shot(did I say that already). A complaint has been filed with the nonexistent CCC handicap committee. 

In some deep research by staff members of this report the PXG golf web site was reviewed finding the following testimonial from a satisfied customer of the golf equipment company.

“Thank you PXG so much for elevating may game to a level where my handicap has soared to the highest in my entire career. I am dominating my local Men’s league by collecting low scratch and low net awards along with winning close to 50% of the flag prizes. I am the most popular player on my self-sponsored team.”
                                                                                        Mike from Iowa

Old Balls Chad Kanne beat Bud Two Troy Auen and Tony Pietig and this publisher tied. Bud Three Hans Auen beat Eagle Eye Nic Volquartsen. Eckerman 5 plus all of the bonus points from Jewels so they scored 8 on the night and Bud Light 3.

Kimmes Country Stores dirtied the laundry of Kasperbauer Cleaners 6 to 2. Chris Van Dyke was the leader for the gas stations with a great one under round of 36 which collected him low net on the front nine. Steve Kimmes the only other winner for Kimmes. Wireless Pat Macke and Jake Kimmes tied as did Greasewood’s  Matt Lujano(the former head teller at the Westside State Savings Bank) and Ian Kimmes.
Landus Coop and Bierl Carpet One tied their match. Corey Bluml the MVP from this match with a low gross 34(three under par)

In the biggest win of the night the most mature team blanked and smashed the tomatoes of Graddy’s. Produce Tom Duff the MVP of the group despite a four putt. Last week’s controversy must have been weighing the tomatoes down.

Par beat Champion Ford #2 6 to 3. Denny Kasperbauer the only winner for the step car company.
Shamrock Boat Sales accelerated their out boards to beat the oil jobbers of Community Oil. Chico’s assistant Todd Kanne the only winner for the oil jobbers.

Carroll Glass sputtered the engines of #1 Champion Ford team. Team owner Darin Putney the only winner for the Fords. Benton Snyder led the plate glass team.

Mid Iowa and OH BOBBY battled to a tie. Smile in Every Isle Brad Auge the only winner for the Mid Iowa Team. Papa Joe Pick tied his match and his side kick was beaten soundly by “I have my shorts on again this week…Bad Move last week” Chris Giguere.

Special Event winners:
Low Net – Chris Van Dyke and Mike “Jewels” Eckerman
Low Gross - Mike “Jewels” Eckerman and Tony’s boy Corey Bluml
Closest to the pin – Corey Bluml and Mike “Jewels” Eckerman

Long Putt – Brad Hempstead and Clint Cummings. 

This report would like to welcome new member Dr. Charles Svensson, MD and Assistant Pro Jeff Sawyer. 

Save the Date: Bill Franey Open Golf Tournament, Sunday August 27th. 

Don't forget to sign up the Member - Guest on June 2nd and 3rd. This is a great time to showcase our course. FBI back ground checks and Carroll Police clearance was received today so....drum roll.....John Dukes is coming to town! 

Yes that is a shovel in Craig's hands
Thanks to the Commercial Savings Bank for investing in Carroll. Next up is your ribbon cutting. 

Welcome Pro Power - Scott Kanne and Curt Kirsch as new members to the report. 

Thanks for reading! On IOWA and GO HAWKS! See you all in Arcadia tonight for the Hawkeye Banquet.