The Golf Report: May 2022

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Rest easy Norgy....Mike Nelson aces #4.....the newest trick in golf....formal complaint in the works!

The Carroll area lost a giant of a man with a caring and giving heart on Sunday. From the first time that I met him to the last time I saw him a couple of weeks I admired the way that he treated people including myself. You always felt better after talking with John. He was a larger than life figure who ran one of the area's most successful businesses for many years. He made countless contributions to various individuals and causes! As his obituary says he lived each day like it was Christmas! My heartfelt condolences go out to his family and friends! Thanks Norgy for being you! I will always remember you for bringing a positive light to this world.

Breaking News! Multiple sources are indicating that a couple of scoring errors may have been made last night that could affect the overall league standing. A formal complaint is being filed and this report will update you next week as details become available!

On a warm night at the Carroll Country Club your Michelob Ultra team got the job done against Carroll Glass. For the first time ever I witnessed a new type of trick to affect the outcome of a Super League match. As this publisher and Curt Kirsch approached the last hole in a tightly contested match the dynamic duo of Keith Pottebaum and Brad "Lipper" Stork pulled the we ran out of gas in our cart trick. Ironically we were at the furthest point away from the clubhouse just yards away from Ed Tomka's house. So the caring hearts of your Michelob Ultra team became distracted producing a topped drive and a loss of hole and match for this publisher to LCS's top man. Busch Light Curt Kirsch tied Pottebaum with a par on the last hole. The match ended peacefully with all golfers shaking hands with the evident smell of gas on Pottebaum. Long time subscriber, former top local, highly successful and very veteran golfer Craig Mertz beat the glass company's general manager Andy Reiman and Bud Two Troy Auen beat Benton Snyder(Happy Birthday Benton). The captain of the Carroll Glass team is Jon Heim who started harassment via text messaging early on Tuesday morning with members of the Ultra team. An investigation has been launched into Heim's conduct. Magic Mike Schulz was not on the roster and is working on his game to make his season debut. Bud Three Hans Auen subbed for Champion Chrysler. Overall the victory keeps Americas's team at the top of the league.

Carpet One Floor and Home leapfrogged the cycles of Harley Davidson. The floor coverings sit just one point behind the most popular Supper League team. Mills Milligan, Brad Pick were winners. The season debut of Colin Bierl came in dramatic fashion as Easy Ed Cutler three-putted the last hole to give Bierl the win. The loss comes after the greatest night in OH BOBBY history last week. Milligan was awarded the low net on the front nine along with Giddy up Wyatt Haukap and Craig Mertz(which be protested).

HD of Carroll dropped a spot to third with a loss to Westside State Savings Bank. AA Aaron Ahrendsen, Willy Beck and Carroll Municipal Golf Course League President Matt Fleshner were winners for the bankers. The only winner for the cycles was the head hog Terry Ruchti who fired a 37. AA, John Munson and Ruchti all shared the low net on the back 9. Fleshner drained the longest putt on #9.

Sharp Funeral Home clipped Champion Chrysler by one. Techie Volquartsen and Colton Hackfort were winners for the caskets. Darin Putney and Wade Wilkie were winners for the cars. Jon Heim who as you remember is the captain of the Carroll Glass team who lost to your Ultra team subbed for the caskets in a losing fashion. Monument Man Loren Boyce was not offering any quotes this week to be included in the report.

A half-full Anytime Fitness team was beaten by the swingers of Full Swing Golf. BV Brandon Vonnahme nailed the longest putt on #18. Welcome to the league Brett Pietig and Ryan Lynch.

Kasperbauer Cleaners had a career night with a 7-2 win over a short Champion Ford team. Wyatt Haukap, Tony Badding and Matt Hackfort were all winners for the cleaners. Scott Schon lost his match but did collect a closest to the pin on #8.

Graddy's Tomatoes nipped Supper League's most mature team by one. Tomato John and Dr. Decay Nick Fangman were winners for the tomatoes. Bud One Jim Auen was the only winner for the sticks. Larry Doc Sporrer knocked it close on 17 and made a 50 foot putt during the round that was in all the way according to confidential sources.

Some tickets still remain for the Carroll Area I Club banquet May 24th

Here are some important dates to remember

May 30, 2022 Memorial Day Event

June 3-4, 2022 Member/Guest

June 10-11, 2022 Carroll Amateur

June 22, 2022 IGCSA Event

June 27, 2022 St. Anthony Outing

July 3, 2022 4^th of July Event

July 15, 2022 Chamber Golf Outing

July 20 & 21 Papa Joe Classic

July 29, 2022 ParTee Classic

August 7, 2022 CCC Club Championship

August 28, 2022 Bill Franey Open

September 5, 2022 Labor Day Event

September 17, 2022 Rivalry Cup

October 15, 2022 Harvest Cup

Respectfully submitted

Mouthpiece Mike Franey

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Week 2 in the books……..Ultra prevails…….BIG win for OH BOBBY!

Mother Nature calmed the wind down for week 2 of the Carroll Country Club Men’s Supper league and we are hopeful that she will warm the temperatures up soon.

League leading Michelob Ultra remained at the top of the mountain by smashing the tomatoes of Graddy’s Tomatoes. Long time subscriber, former top local, highly successful and very veteran golfer Craig Mertz beat Tomato John, Mouthpiece Mike Franey crushed the Tator Tots of Tim Gute and Nate Mertz beat Dr. Decay Nick Fangman. The younger Mertz beat his dad by one and secured low gross on the back nine. The older Mertz nailed the closest to the pin on 17. In a post round interview the older Mertz was asked about being beat by the kid. “The way I see it we both won our match, he was low gross and I won closest to the pin so we each won the same amount of points for the team and I do quote.” This publisher can read between the lines and realizes that it will bug him getting beat by the left-handed swinging son! Good work Nate and better luck next week Craig. Bud Three Steve “Hans” Auen was as cold as the temps losing to Rowdy Rick Grote. Bud Two Troy Auen was still celebrating his 30^th wedding anniversary, Magic Mike Schulz was unavailable and Busch Light Curt Kirsch claimed to be out of town.

The Ultra Team is joined at the top of the league by HD of Carroll. The cycles trounced the swingers of Full Swing Golf. Head hog Terry Ruchti, Produce Tom Duff and Jamming Joe Pawlosky were all winners for the cycles. Ryan Lynch was the only winner for the swingers. Pawlosky scored the closest to the pin on 8 and the head hog drained the longest putt on 9.

Carroll Glass fell out of the top spot this week with a narrow 6-4 win over Anytime Fitness. Lidderdale’s top chef Brad Stork and John Deere Benton Snyder were winners for the glass company. Ryan Fillon was the only winner for the fitness team by winning his match and collecting low net individual on the back nine. The losing interim captain of the team Jon Heim refused to comment on the night. Where is the head glass cutter Andy Reiman oh I see now he was playing for Carpet One Floor & Home He is still listed on their roster and is also listed as the captain of the team. One has to wonder if there is a changing of the guard on the team and Jazzy Jon Heim is involved somehow. This report will keep you updated on this breaking news.

Carpet One Floor & Home blanked Champion Chrysler 8-0. Jon Sturm, Bone cracker Brad Pick, Mortgage Kevin “Mills” Milligan, Glass Andy Reiman were all winners. Captain Colin Bierl still has not made the roster for the carpets. Monument Man Loren Boyce commented after the round that it was not a good night.

The caskets of Sharp Funeral Home played Champion Ford where each team was one man down. Sharp won 6 to 3.5. Cable Guy Chad Kanne and the Nic Volquartsen were winners for the funerals. Josh Sporrer did the heavy lifting for the car company by winning his match, being low gross and low net. Only one player from the Champion stable won in week two so we will look for big things from them next week when they take on Sharp Funeral Home and Carpet One Floor & Home.

A career night for OH BOBBY by shutting out the Stiff Sticks 8.5 to 0. What a way to treat your elders! Easy Ed Cutler, Chris Giguere, Brian Widdel and Dr. Ron Cheney were all winners! Looks like the good Dr. may be getting his handicap back in line or at least using the right one just saying. This was the best night in team history according to a jubilant Easy Ed!